I am The Scorpion Entry 6

August 1, 2008 1:04 p.m.-1:16 p.m.

It’s been a few days since I wrote.

I have no excuse really.

Didn’t have anything to tell.

But I must write this down before it fades.

Dream Worlds- Do they continue after you wake up?

I just had a dream and in it a town I dreamed up probably…three years ago was in it.

And it had changed.

Not in the dreamy “details change like fucking Alice in Wonderland” sense.

No.

New buildings had been built; businesses had been bought and sold.

There was visible construction going on.

Yet all the other details were the exact same.

It leaves me with an unsettling question.

Do dreams end when I wake up?

What if all my past dreams are trapped in my head; forever flowing, but completely ignored?

What if there are a million little worlds living in my subconscious?

What if I am insane?

I am The Scorpion Entry 2

July 22, 2008 2:47 a.m. – 2:54 a.m.

I hate going to sleep.
It is the beginning of Erasing.

It seems like every night while I dream, my brain erases the day.
I’ve been forgetting for so long I can’t remember how to stop.

Clean page; new day.
But it’s not a clean slate.
Just a new page to write this shitty existence on.

I sleep with a light on.
I hate to sleep alone.

For someone who dislikes most of humanity, I sure depend on others.
It’s ironic really.
I hate what I need.

I’m not really…afraid of the dark.
I’m afraid of what I see.
Afraid of the places my mind goes.
The dark allows me to think, and my brain is an awful place to live.

But, as always, responsibilities.

Maybe I have a little help to keep my own demons at bay tonight?

Deus servo mihi. Tutela meus viscus ex vulnero, tutela meus animus ex malum.
Contego mihi ex hostium.

It’s worth a try, right?