I am The Scorpion Entry 2

July 22, 2008 2:47 a.m. – 2:54 a.m.

I hate going to sleep.
It is the beginning of Erasing.

It seems like every night while I dream, my brain erases the day.
I’ve been forgetting for so long I can’t remember how to stop.

Clean page; new day.
But it’s not a clean slate.
Just a new page to write this shitty existence on.

I sleep with a light on.
I hate to sleep alone.

For someone who dislikes most of humanity, I sure depend on others.
It’s ironic really.
I hate what I need.

I’m not really…afraid of the dark.
I’m afraid of what I see.
Afraid of the places my mind goes.
The dark allows me to think, and my brain is an awful place to live.

But, as always, responsibilities.

Maybe I have a little help to keep my own demons at bay tonight?

Deus servo mihi. Tutela meus viscus ex vulnero, tutela meus animus ex malum.
Contego mihi ex hostium.

It’s worth a try, right?