August 30, 2008 10:34 p.m.-10:42 p.m.
See, this is why I don’t keep a diary.
I always forget to write in it.
I’m sorry.
I’ve been thinking about you; yearning to write.
Just…too distracted.
Things inside my head have gotten worse.
I started smoking.
I know, smoking is bad.
It kills your lungs and, damages your heart, stains your teeth- I love it.
Self-destruction in a tiny little stick of tobacco and paper.
I’ve figured out why I have such a fascination with drugs.
Trust.
I put trust in them.
I trust the smoke when it goes into my lungs; or the heroin, if I used it, as it goes into my veins.
I take them into myself and trust them in their intimacy.
Also, I get to destroy them in the process.
Burn the cigarettes to ash; leave the needle an empty shell with no purpose.
They give me themselves; everything they have.
I put the trust I can’t seem to put in people into them.
And in return, they sacrifice themselves for me.
Now that is love. ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment